Thread of Memory
Picture by exellero
Her memories tricked her as she couldn’t understand what was real, what pretended by her will or inspiration. The only reality she knew for sure was this moment when she was awake, or at least she thought so. It was hollow nothingness around her, surrounded by deep black darkness. Sometimes she thought of this as a hell she couldn’t escape, couldn’t move and, although she didn’t feel it’s weight, cuffs on her hands and ankles burned each time she moved. However muscles were so relaxed that she thought it felt like flying and in these moments she pretended to be placed in some messed up heaven.
Miraculously after all these years in imprisonment she dreamt of freedom, sunshine and wind brushing her skin; she dreamt of life with her family and food she already forgot the taste of. Burning sensation boiled her insides and unfortunately only peaceful thoughts made them stop.
Even thou the room she was held in was always pitch black, she still needed to close eyes in order to escape these memories, but on the other side they kept her sane and emotions sharp – she wouldn’t relax till the day she could escape and till then she needs her mind much sharper than a blade she longed to see slitting some throats.
After a long drive, when her little body got picked up and thrown over a sharp shoulder like some kind of a potato bag, she finally slowly recovered from paralysis. Unfortunately with feelings returning to her body pain kicked in, she wished to go back to the way she was before. Biting deeper into a cloth which filled her mouth, she cried out a little breath of pain.
-Oh, the little brat is awake now! What a shame, I wished to have you one more time, before giving you away.- a man spoke and looked over to see her. She might have forgotten, how he looked like, but she will never forget his eyes. They were clear gray as if coloured with crayons mother bought the year before. These eyes told her everything of him – deep dark childhood, violent teen years from an abusive parent which most likely raped him and an aggressive adulthood, which he took on his own shoulders sliding past time wishing he wasn’t born.
-I’m guessing, while conscious you would give more of an effort to it as well!- he continued and back then she couldn’t understand it, but she knew now. She had all the time in the world to re-live every second of her life hundred times and counting...
His pale tongue quivered in lust, his lips bracing for some action, but the saliva which almost poured out of his mouth made her stomach pulse in disgust. Something boiled there for some time and was ready to get out and even a cloth between her teeth wouldn’t be able to keep it in.
-Stupid meds.- he grunted and put her body down. Grass smelled smoothing as if just recently someone had mowed it, air gave back her the feeling in throat that was soar, but her legs... made her move for an escape impossible. They were motionless and she could barely feel anything in them. Every bit of pain sought its way through her, but everything else was a mystery as if her body didn’t knew better.
-Stay here, sunshine, be ready for the third round, be right back.- he checked his pockets as if looking for something and then gone back to the car. His expression ensured her that she wouldn’t be able to move, at least he was certain about it, but her tiny body finally started to feel something, it shook in fear, cold started to pinch her skin and grass in the end wasn’t as smoothing as seemed before.
Her mouth started to fill with briny liquid, which growling quietly she pushed through the edges of the cloth, in it she saw few pills still not dissolved, but with that there was blood as well, a lot of blood. Choking through red vomit pouring into her mouth, she tried to grab a second for a breath, but couldn’t. Stomach cramped and the pain rushed through it in waves.
Her thread of memory got lost in the midst of a shrieking noise somewhere under her. She felt a sudden breeze of fresh air filling cell through a straw like line. Chains loosened a little and finally her bare feet felt the coldness of the floor, but the more her body moved downwards, the more she understood that years have taken away her strength in legs and they wouldn’t be able to lift her body up.
Exhilarated by the idea someone finally found her, she tried to yell, but her voice was cut off by the years of silence. She tried to move her arms so the chain movement made noise, but the years of imprisonment had made them weak and motionless.
Suddenly frightened by the idea that her captors finally decided to get rid of the body, she felt stomach rumbling in dissatisfaction as she couldn’t do anything to fight back.
Weak, numb and sick she waited on resolution weather it would be life or death itself, she was ready to receive it with hands wide open.